Yo Gobble Gobble

"I think about you all the time"...

That is what I said to my Anniefesto home page when I pulled it up for the first time in months today. I know I have been an absent lover, but I can honestly say that I think about this blog every day, and I have missed it terribly. I don't know what's been wrong, but I'm pretty sure it's getting better and I promise to make a concerted effort to keep Anniefesto going.
I had a pretty crummy holiday weekend to think things over and it made me realize that I need to write as badly as I need to exercise. It's like strength training, but for my brain.
So I thought I'd tell you a witty little ditty about my Thanksgiving break, just to welcome you back into my crazy, messed up mind. Hope you enjoy!

Last week sucked. Four day weekends are typically something to look forward to, but for some reason, this year Thanksgiving had my stomach all twisted up into knots. As many of you know, Thanksgiving, or Turkey Day, is basically more religious than Easter to those of us from the wonderful town of Webster Groves. People here get drunk off of the spirit of football, school spirit, bonfires and seeing long lost friends for these 4 days in autumn. Webster Groves on Thanksgiving could charm even the Grinch himself (I know I'm mixing up my holidays, but who cares). But this year, for some reason, Turkey Day sent me into a downward spiral of depression and despair. Maybe it's because:

~My stomach decided to revolt on me 2 days before the holiday and wouldn't let me leave the bathroom for more than an hour at a time. Gross, but true.
~I 'joined' Eharmony on Wednesday night and discovered that reading internet dating profiles are just as cringe-worthy as I thought it would be. One guy looked very promising until the part where he wrote "I adore Glenn Beck." That made me throw up in my mouth a little bit. (P.S. I DESPISE Glenn Beck. ABORE him.)
~My family went to Kansas City for Thanksgiving, and I had to skip it b/c of an upset stomach and dogsitting duties. I got as far as St. Peters in my car before I realized it was a bad idea to try to make the trip there and back in less than 24 hours. I basically had a nervous breakdown in my car while I was turning around to head home. The ugly cry was present, I assure you.
~I woke up at 4am on Black Friday and spent more money at Target before the sun was up than I've spent there in the last year...and I put it on my credit card.
~My Gilmore Girls marathon was charming enough until the middle of season 3 when I started to wonder 'Why didn't I go to Yale like Rory Gilmore? How come Lorelai can eat like a prize pig, but all I have to do is look at a cracker and I gain weight? Where is my Logan Huntzberger?!' I kept muttering to myself 'I coulda been somebody. I coulda been a contender!' The dogs must think I'm a crazy person.
~The two times people did call to invite me out, I was in the middle of 'natural colonic' and didn't feel suitable for company.
~I chose to skip church on Sunday, even though I've been trying not to do that anymore, and missed Fred, Marsha & Jon Bonham leading worship and my friend Ryan preaching the sermon. I skipped it to add another 2 hours to my 12 hour marathon of sleep. Lame.
~They don't even show General Hospital at all on Thanksgiving weekend. I have really been wanting to watch Sam & Jason do battle with James Franco (whose character is named 'Franco'), but instead all they were showing was college football. Boo.

Since I like to think of myself as a 'glass half full' kind of person, I should mention that there were a few bright points to the weekend:

~I finally got that TV that was meant to be my birthday present (I was born in July, FYI). It's HD and pretty and receives all 5 major networks with nothing more than a $10 antenna.
~I got to spend Thanksgiving with all of the Schawackers. They fed me stuffing, sweet potatoes, pumpkin pie AND Mary gave me an early Christmas present despite the fact that I crashed her family holiday with 3 hours notice.
~All of Annie the Nanny's Christmas shopping is finished. And since 3 of the Fagan kids have a birthday within the next month, I knocked those presents out of the way as well. Score.
~I bought a pretty new dress and when I tried it on, I realized that I needed it in a smaller size than usual.
~I spent a lot of time thinking about how much I miss my blog and worked up the courage to get back on that horse again.

That's all I've got for now. I'll write more later, I swear. I've been dying to get down on paper (figuratively) the inner monologue that runs through my mind while I'm at work. I've even made notes of the ridiculous things that I think about while filing or processing check requests. I think that I've got the title for my first book all worked out, just from the time spent reflecting on my awkward social interactions at my job. 'I Think There's Something Wrong With Me' by Anne Simon. It's got a nice ring to it, don't you think?